SlopBench asks which models produce the stiff, repetitive prose readers call AI slop, a question detectors leave open once they have classified a text as machine-written. We evaluated eighteen models on 112 hand-written tasks in email, social posts, essays, and workplace chat, sampling each model on each task up to ten times, for 19,928 outputs in all. SlopBench scores four surface behaviors a reader can check by hand: length against the word band each task specifies, opener repetition across a model's own samples of one task, and paragraph rhythm and fixed lexical constructions against pre-ChatGPT human corpora. Under one fixed weighting, Kimi K2.6 scores lowest at 21.1 and Mistral Large highest at 40.6. Across 500 random reweightings Kimi has the lowest score in 58 percent of draws and Mistral the highest in 97 percent. No draw preserves the full order of the eighteen, and a scenario bootstrap leaves exactly one of those ranks unambiguous. We ran three further checks on that middle order: a crowd arena, an AI detector, and lexical diversity. None of them confirmed the order. We therefore report the four behaviors separately and treat the composite as one weighting among many, and we release the prompts, outputs, reference statistics, and scoring code.

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