Unlearning aims to remove selected knowledge from large language models to mitigate privacy and safety risks while preserving useful capabilities. For models that continue to be fine-tuned after release, this goal is insufficient: they must also resist relearning the deleted knowledge while preserving plasticity, the ability to learn new tasks. Existing defenses train against simulated relearning while trying to preserve useful capabilities, but low relearning alone cannot distinguish selective resistance from a general loss of plasticity. Evaluating preservation after an update requires deciding what the updated model should remain close to. A pre-update reference penalizes useful changes induced by the update simply because they depart from earlier outputs. We therefore formulate the reference-timing hypothesis that, at comparable target suppression, an update-matched reference better preserves plasticity than a pre-update one. To test and address this hypothesis, we propose Update-Matched Unlearning (UMU), which applies the same simulated relearning update to the defended model and to an undefended reference initialized from the same unlearned model, and uses new-task learning to guide model selection. Extensive experiments on TOFU and FaithUn with Llama and Qwen models show that UMU improves both relearning resistance and plasticity across all three base unlearning methods, lowering harmful and benign relearning by 30.4 and 9.9 points on average while raising new-task accuracy by 3.5 points. When the reference does not receive the update, relearning remains similarly low but new-task accuracy falls below the base method, supporting the reference-timing hypothesis and showing that robust unlearning should prevent recovery selectively without suppressing learning itself.

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