Timing measurements are a fundamental building block of microarchitectural attacks, enabling software to convert otherwise invisible latency differences into architectural observations. Thus, restricting high-resolution timers is a common defense, especially in constrained environments such as web browsers. Timerless probing primitives provide an alternative approach. Instead of reading or constructing a timer, they observe architectural events that correlate with the microarchitectural state. However, such primitives typically rely on platform-specific behavior, and none generalizes across the wider computing landscape. In this paper, we present PhotoFinish, a portable timerless probing primitive that converts latency differences directly into an architectural value. PhotoFinish races an operation under test against a fixed reference in two parallel threads that then write unique values to the same shared location, resulting in a latency-dependent architectural value. PhotoFinish only requires parallel execution and shared memory, without constructing or reading a clock. We evaluate PhotoFinish on 38 CPUs spanning four ISAs and demonstrate reliable cache state classification across widely different microarchitectures, with comparable fidelity when compiled to WebAssembly and executed inside a browser. We further use PhotoFinish in AES T-table and Evict+Reload attacks, show that it applies beyond caches to TLB and execution-engine latencies, and demonstrate sufficient precision to identify the LLC slice of an address. Our results demonstrate shared-memory races as a generic and precise replacement for explicit timing, showing that restricting timers alone does not prevent software from observing fine-grained microarchitectural latency differences.

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