Families raising children with ADHD often experience heightened stress and reactive parenting. While digital interventions promise personalization, many remain one-size-fits-all and fail to reflect parents' lived practices. We present CalmReminder, a watch-based system that detects children's calm moments and delivers just-in-time prompts to parents. Through a four-week deployment with 16 families (twelve completed) of children with ADHD, we compared notification strategies ranging from hourly to random to only when the child was inferred to be calm. Our sensing-based notifications were frequently perceived as arriving during calm moments. More importantly, parents adopted the system in diverse ways: using notifications for praise, mindfulness, activity planning, or conversation. These findings show that parents are not passive recipients but active designers, reshaping interventions to fit their parenting styles. We contribute a calm detection pipeline, empirical insights into families' flexible appropriation of notifications, and design implications for intervention systems that foster agency.

翻译：养育多动症（ADHD）儿童的家庭常面临更高压力与反应性教养行为。尽管数字化干预手段承诺个性化，但多数方案仍采用通用模式，未能反映家长的实际教养实践。本研究提出CalmReminder——一种基于手表的系统，通过检测儿童的平静时刻并向家长发送即时提示。通过对16个多动症儿童家庭（其中12个完成全程）开展为期四周的实地部署，我们比较了从每小时推送、随机推送到仅当系统推断儿童处于平静状态时推送等多种通知策略。基于感知技术的通知常被家长认为恰好在平静时刻到达。更重要的是，家长以多样化方式运用该系统：将通知用于赞扬、正念练习、活动规划或开启对话。这些发现表明，家长并非被动接受者，而是积极的设计者，能够重塑干预措施以适应其教养风格。本研究贡献包括：一套平静状态检测流程、关于家庭灵活运用通知机制的实证发现，以及为提升使用者能动性的干预系统设计启示。