Federated speech emotion recognition (SER) is challenged by speaker-dependent, class-imbalanced data and by heterogeneous client devices. This paper proposes \textit{Fuzzy-FedAvg}, a server-aware framework in which the server learns Client Selection Weights (CSWs) through fuzzy Q-learning from global-model feedback. The same CSWs weight client accuracy, training time, and \divkpi{} in both client selection and aggregation, while a dedicated PCAS node manages stragglers through staleness-discounted deferred updates. On IEMOCAP and CREMA-D, \textit{Fuzzy-FedAvg} achieves higher unweighted average recall (UAR) than FedAvg in all configurations under severe non-IID conditions, and in 22 of 24 participation-level and 10 of 12 training-horizon configurations overall. It also outperforms FedProx and Oort, while SCAFFOLD and Power-of-Choice remain competitive, and it reduces cumulative training time by 81.2\% in a FedScale-based evaluation. The benefit is greatest under strong statistical heterogeneity and narrows as data become more balanced.

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