Synthetic aperture radar (SAR) despeckling is an inverse-recovery problem in which multiplicative non-Gaussian noise must be suppressed without erasing scattering structures. We revisit a nonlocal sparse estimator that applies a log--Yeo--Johnson transformation, stacks similar patches into groups, codes each group on its own left singular basis, and shrinks the resulting coefficients. Three quantities usually treated as tunable are shown to be fixed by this construction. First, the group dictionary is orthonormal, so the weighted Lasso admits an exact coefficient-wise soft-threshold solution: the iterative inner solver is unnecessary, and the two apparent weighting matrices are the numerator and denominator of a single threshold field rather than independent modules. Second, because the dictionary is estimated from the noisy group itself, its retained subspace absorbs speckle in proportion to the group aspect ratio $γ=p^2/K$; a random-matrix argument converts the corresponding regularization constant into a geometry-calibrated correction and collapses patch size, group size, and shrinkage scale into one analytically determined degree of freedom. Third, singular projection makes the coefficient noise nearly Gaussian at every tested look number, which locates the point at which an exact speckle likelihood ceases to be informative. The resulting estimator is deterministic, training-free, and applies one set of analytically determined settings to every image and sensor. It ranks first in 18 of 24 PSNR/SSIM comparisons against twelve published methods on three synthetic benchmarks, and attains the lowest mean deviation of the ratio image from the theoretical speckle model over six real-SAR configurations from five sensors. Code is available \href{https://github.com/Teriri1999/Geometry-Calibrated-Closed-Form-Shrinkage-for-SAR-Despeckling}{here}.

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