Shallow-water UAV imagery provides centimeter-scale observations of benthic environments, but water-induced distortions complicate interpretation. To our knowledge, we present the first systematic zero-shot benchmark of unified multimodal large language models (MLLMs) for both assessing water-induced distortions and restoring shallow-water imagery within the same model framework. We evaluate five open-weight unified MLLMs with frozen pretrained weights and without access to paired reference images or descriptions of the true seabed. The benchmark contains 1,000 image pairs: 600 semi-synthetic UAV scenes created by applying synthetic water distortions to real shallow-water imagery and 400 fully synthetic through-water scenes. Three independent human annotations cover five distortion types. We evaluate four assessment prompts (P0-P3), from direct instruction to structured task decomposition, on all 1,000 images and four diagnosis-guided restoration prompts (R0-R3) on a common 100-image subset. Assessment varies substantially by model and prompt, with systematic prediction biases and a best pooled balanced accuracy of 0.654 for distortion presence. The best pooled PSNR gain is +0.255 dB, no unified MLLM improves pooled LPIPS, and some outputs alter scene structure or hallucinate content. Two restoration-only baselines also show limited transfer: InstructIR achieves a pooled PSNR gain of +0.040 dB, while PromptFix degrades all four pooled metrics under every prompt. These results show that recognizing shallow-water degradation does not imply reliable physical restoration and provide a reproducible baseline for future work.

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