LLM benchmarks function as evaluation instruments, informing decisions that affect education, labor, and public services worldwide. Drawing on Hood, Kirkhart, and Hopson's culturally responsive evaluation (CRE) frameworks, this paper applies a six-dimension CR rubric to audit OpenAI's SimpleQA (N = 4,326 items) and the LMSYS Chatbot Arena (N = 600 conversations). Every SimpleQA question requires English-language archival verification as its evidentiary basis. A single rater's preoccupation with Colombian founding dates accounts for 2.70% of items, inflating the appearance of Global South coverage. English-language prompts constitute 76.3% of Arena conversations, against an International Telecommunication Union (ITU)-estimated 25.9% share of global internet users. A 50-item counter-benchmark scored a mean CR deficit nearly three times lower than SimpleQA (Cohen's d = 1.01). The paper proposes a practical CR evaluation framework. These are structural validity failures, not incidental measurement problems, with direct consequences for communities whose knowledge traditions these instruments were not built to see.
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